Dear Sirs Who Like to Harass Me (and other women) From Their Cars,
You seem to be growing in numbers. I don't know why, but I'm encountering you all the time. On behalf of women everywhere, all I can say is Really??? Your method is obnoxious, and I don't see the point. Certainly you can't believe that shouting things above the boom-boom-boom of your stereo like, "Hey lady...ah yeah...I like what I see" as I start walking through a crosswalk, ignoring you, and then continuing with, "Ah yeah, I'm enjoying you walk away just as much!" well past the point after I've reached the other side is going to cause me to turn around, run over, and insist that we have sex immediately. No. Your only goal can be to make me supremely uncomfortable. Go you. I'm unimpressed and growing impatient with your misogynistic lameness.
I've learned over the years that engaging verbally in any way (perhaps retorting with "fuck off!") only encourages your bad behavior. I ask you politely now to cease with your comments, but if you do not, I feel I must try a new approach. After consulting with a coworker, we've determined the best option so far seems to be arming myself with a squirt gun to carry in my purse. Now, I can already foresee that if I fill it with anything as banal as water, you'll probably choose to see an act of squirt-squirt as "flirty." I know how your immature brain ticks. So, instead, I shall fill it with something repugnant...like vinegar.
I have decent aim. And I will be going for your eyes.
Good day.
-Meganar
3 comments:
Perhaps you should try not to be so attractive, that would probably fix most of your problems. I guarantee that the girl walking 20 feet behind you that they do not say anything to feels jealous. The thing that will kill you about this is that it works, girls actually go talk with guys that call out of their cars. They keep doing it because it works. There is this douchebag I work with that is constantly making passes at most of the girls, he has ended up dating a lot of good looking girls there. It is puzzling to many men and women there that someone as not good looking and slimy as James hooks up with these girls. Why does he keep doing it? It works.
Hrm. Well, you should warn James about me and my vinegar squirt gun. "Ow, my eyes! My eyes!" This car "technique" has never worked on me or anyone else I know. But now I suppose I should write a letter to all these women who respond to the shenanigans of the James in the world. I will call it Thanks for Nothing, Ladies!
I will not warn him, he deserves it!
Honestly that would be a nice refreshing article. People often get upset when things are effed up but never think about why they are. People complain about spam on the internet and bad commercials on TV. If we didn't give in to the crap they would stop doing it, it is really as simple as that. The only problem is that we ALL have to do it, not likely.
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