Standard Operating Procedure

When in Melancholy Megan (MM) Mode, there are a few things that can cheer a girl up:

1. Compliments. Lots and lots of compliments. Gifts. Doting. General adoration and admiration lavished on me, Me, ME! I'll take it!

2. In lieu of compliments/adoration, I guess something like this will have to do:

After reaching the top of the parking garage stairs at work this morning, I turned to see that a female faculty member was right behind me. I greeted her cheerfully, and she responded with, "Oh, hi Megan! I thought that was you...by the shape of your pants."

THE SHAPE OF MY PANTS?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

3. The line, "You can tell Jesus the bitch is back" from the Gossip Girl episode last night. Priceless! I missed most of the episode, because I was chatting on the phone with my sis, but I clicked my phone shut just in time to hear that one. Maybe I should go ultra-religious and good for a while, and then return to my normal self so I can say that line to everyone. Although, I have a feeling Jesus's response to the news would be "Back? Back??? When did she ever leave?" There ain't no foolin the Big J.

4. Answering my phone to hear Trav's growling monster voice saying, "Hi Baconar!" Although, now, thanks to the R. family word shortening, he is insisting my name is Bac (bake or bakes). So our telephone conversations go something like this:

Cute little three year old voice full of glee: "Your name is Bac now!!!"
Me: "Nuh-uh."
Travinator laughing: "Yeah! Your name is Bac now!"
Me: "No!"
Zozo: "Yes! Your name is Bac now!"
Me: "Nooooooooooooo."

And so on. The thing is that just thinking about Travis totally brightens my day, so the phone chats are especially cheering. My heart feels full, and I know I've said this before, but I can't imagine loving anyone more.

5. Chocolate brownie fro yo. I'm not above emotional eating.

6. Listening to my new Sansa Fuze! It came in the mail last week, and I loaded it up with a bunch of music, and now I'm happily listening to it whenever I can. It's great! It's exactly the kind of player I need -- cheap, good sound, nice interface, and expandable memory. I'm motivated to walk, walk, walk, and listen, listen, listen.

7. Lilacs! They are blooming. I walked to a shop the other day and stopped to smell the lilacs all the way. And, peonies! It's looking like I will have peonies in my garden this year. I hope, I hope. My favorite!

8. Laughing with my fabulous girlfriends. Really, they are The Best. They engage in and create utter silliness with me, and I love my time with them.

9. Casey's response to my mini-rant about my sensitivity to being called an over-analyzer/thinker or overly emotional. I don't like it. I call thinking and feeling being an adult who is engaged in the world! It doesn't happen often, but the times it has I've felt totally misunderstood and hurt. Now, if I perceive that anyone is even hinting that I think or feel too much, I get defensive and ruffled. It's ng. Anyway, I explained all this to poor Casey, and what he wrote was great. As far as over-analyzing goes, he says, "I prefer to think of it as Standard Operating Procedure for People Who Don't Want to be Idiots and/or Assholes."

Hahahaha! HA! I laughed and laughed. Standard Operating Procedure! This will stick in my mind. I think I'm now permanently cured of my over-anything sensitivity. Seriously.

10. The incident with the spider. The other day while Em was over, we saw a spider making a run for the sliding glass door. It was a frantic "I gotta get the hell outta here!" dart to freedom. Maybe he'd had enough of the downer vibe and was out. I gladly obliged by opening the door and nudged him along with a Pier 1 Imports flyer. A few minutes later, it seems the same spider (or, I guess, a new one who took the other's cue) was back inside staring at the door in a confused "How am I in this place again?" stance. I hear ya, spider! We repeated the open-the-door-flick-of-the-flyer procedure once again. For the rest of the time, Em and I were on spider watch.

Things that add to MM Mode:

1. Bathing suit shopping. Even the thought of bathing suit shopping. Ugh. Can't. Face. It. I don't even know if I'll be doing much in the sun this summer, but the bottom line is that my current suit is ancient and in tatters. A new one is required. As friend Jen wisely says, you need to be in "a very special place" to handle the emotional trauma of trying on and purchasing a new suit. I think the last time I was in "that special place" was 1992.

2. Dishes. While writing this post I'm motoring back and forth to the sink to wash a few. If I end up buying a place, a dishwasher is a definite requirement.

3. My friend and coworker, Monice, is about to leave me at work and become just my friend. No more coworker, as she is moving on to bigger and better things. I will miss her terribly but I'm happy for this new phase in her life. She's been a great source of humor, advice, support, and, most of all, entertaining commentary (Waldorf & Statler!) in various situations on the job. We've shared in so many, shall we say, hilarious moments this year and laughed much. She's excellent at her job, and I always enjoy and appreciate working with her on tasks/projects. Quite simply, I adore Monice. Now, I'll be relying on her drive-bys to pick me up for lunch.

4. Watching The Dying Gaul. Amazing cast, but a story so depressing you might as well just slit your wrists and get it over with before watching this movie. If you ever decide to pretend you're the dead lover of your husband's gay lover in an internet chat room, beware of grated poisonous root ending up in your salad.