I have to tell you, peeps, that I loved hearing Elizabeth Gilbert talk tonight. She was *awesome*! Very real and interesting and hilarious. When she walked on stage I even got a little teary, not because I think she's some magical person who has all the answers based on what she wrote in Eat Pray Love, but because suddenly I had the sense that I was exactly where I should be, and I was about to hear things that would resonate deeply. I was not disappointed. On the eve of my 32nd birthday, I can't imagine anything more perfect.

EG talked briefly about her life since the book became a smashing success and how people now expect her to have the answers to difficult life problems for them, which then segued into a story that demonstrated just how not together she is sometimes. She made the point that there is no defining moment when we suddenly change, reaching the top of the mountain after an incredibly tough climb, and say, "Here I am! That's it for me!" She talked about "life envy" as the norm of our culture at this time, always thinking that someone has it better, and how perhaps our lives are complicated by having so many choices available to us constantly. She talked about marriage--the topic of her next book--especially the research she did and the process of writing it (due out in January 2010). She responded to a question on whether or not she plans to have children, giving, in my opinion, an excellent answer that speaks for so many women who make the conscious choice to not. Like me, she takes issue with the notion that it's a "selfish" decision when, more often than not, it isn't. I agree wholeheartedly, even thinking, like friend Jen, that nothing could be more selfish than having kids for all the wrong reasons. It's high time to move on from this outdated and highly questionable view of childless women, and to value the role they (or should I say "we") play in society and in the lives of children they have no biological reponsibility. Best of all, EG told an incredibly funny story about the dopey thing she said, in reference to Paris, to Oprah during a commercial break of her guest appearance. "That's in France!" Lots of laughter.

I'm so looking forward to my dinner outing at my favorite place with my friends tomorrow! I love seeing all my best peeps on my birthday. The only thing I don't love about tomorrow is the fact that I think I need to take my car in to deal with a tire problem. One is having a very slow leak and gets low every couple of weeks. It happened again today, and I'm a bit nervous that the problem is getting worse and what that could mean driving on it to Portland. I must get to P-town. Yet, when I took my car in for an oil change and maintenance recently no puncture could be found, even with a bubble test. Sigh. Happy birthday to me at Les Schwab. Woohoo.

However...

I'm very ready to say sayonara to 31 and welcome in this new year. I like the sound of 32. I wasn't too jazzed about the number 31 when it came around, but I figured it would have to be better than 30 turned out. And, I think of 31 as a good year, even though, when I reflect back, I note that a lengthy list of difficult crap went down (car accident, personal items stolen, poor relationships/"situations," endings, closing doors quietly but firmly, seeing people I care about endure difficult losses, seemingly endless computer problems, bye-bye hard drive times three, and a few other issues that were all blahbitty-blah and boring to you). Yet...it's all ok somehow. I had a bunch of amazing and healing experiences too. I continue to receive love and support from fantastic people, many who make me laugh every day. (Thanks to all of you for listening to me babble on in real life and on the blog.) I explored new places in my inner and outer worlds and, thanks largely to a few months in therapy and long walks on a beach in Tel Aviv, I uncovered new depths within myself. I'm at greater peace and ease with who I am. It's embarressing to say that this is a big accomplishment, but it certainly feels like one in a way that can't be explained with words. The ride is bumpy, but I'm getting somewhere. I continue to feel hopeful even during--ok, well, maybe after--my furious "Thanks For Nothing!" moments at the Universe. Because, let's face it, sometimes life is incredibly frustrating, and I prefer to blame the big G for that.

I was talking about this year with my sis, and she said, "Wow. Yeah, really, it was tough. But this is all personal growth!" Yes, yes it is. But I've been personal growing for quite a while now, and I want to reach the top of that damn mythical mountain!