Sickie

I have the flu. Not the stomach flu, but the true definition of the flu - headache, fever, slight stuffy nose, extreme fatigue. Oh, and no appetite. I should be glad for that, but the rest is maddening. I woke up feeling okay yesterday, but things suddenly went downhill as the day progressed. I became really exhausted with a terrible headache. I went to bed early and spent the night wrapped up in vivid, unsettling, feverish dreams. I woke up at 4am to pee and then returned to bed to lie awake for a while, body aching, unable to get comfortable, and thinking about death. Good times. (I had just seen "The Prestige" on Saturday, which was much darker than I expected, and I think that contributed to my morbid conviction that death by flu was imminent.) I slipped back into sleep after not too long and woke up around 7:30am feeling like I hadn't slept at all--a glance in the mirror revealed a ghoulish appearance that sadly brought that point home--to get ready to drag myself in to work for a few hours. I know, I know. I should stay in while sick, but I had a few things I needed to take care of and I had to go to class. It wasn't a smart idea in any way, especially the driving, but I did it. I returned home early in the afternoon, changed into my pj's, and flopped on the couch. And that's that. I've been here all day, watching movies and reading when I feel up to it, but mostly sleeping.

In my good moments, like now, I actually feel so-so while lying here and can get something done. Being sick is a strange thing, as a small part of me refuses to accept what is happening and badgers me to carry on with life like normal. I also feel guilty for all the work and school work I'm not doing. I can't be ill in peace, you see. Of course, the reality is that being up and around for very long is hard, and it's difficult to care much about that stuff while feeling so crappy, but I'm not used to slowing down like this. Must get well soon. This sucks.

I can see out my kitchen window from my spot on the couch, and I just noticed that the sunset sky is a gorgeous shade of purple, so that's nice.

Back to sleep...but before I go, please take a look at the pic Molly calls "A New Look for Zozo." He will be appearing soon in a city near you. Tahoe!