Along the lines of my Do You Ever Have a Day When…list, I’m wondering if you’ve ever dealt with this highly uncomfortable experience? You meet up with people for drinks/dinner at a restaurant. After a lovely evening of good food, cocktails and catching up, you all leave at the same time. Standing outside, you say how great it was to see each person, talk about getting together again soon, and possibly even hug for good measure. Once you have exhausted every last bit of conversation, you end with goodbye and head to your car feeling all warm and fuzzy, maybe even congratulating yourself for knowing such interesting and smart people.

The problem is that you hadn’t counted on one or more of your friends parking on the same block as you. You both are heading the same direction--you only a few steps behind--but you just finalized the end of your interaction so you aren’t sure what to do. He/she knows you are there. You know that they know you’re there. Warm and fuzzy is replaced with full body creepy-crawly sensation. You have absolutely nothing to say to each other, and you don’t want to talk anyway. Goodbye was goodbye, and struggling to find something else to say brings up feelings of intense resentment to add to your heap of awkwardness. Suppressing the desire to sprint to your vehicle, you notice that your movements become unnatural and stiff. You look down to avoid eye contact with anyone out of paranoia that a stranger will grasp the situation and alert Friend of your avoidance maneuvers. You are constantly adjusting your speed (from slow to slower to extremely poky by anyone’s standards) in an attempt to keep a minimum of 10 paces between you and Friend. Distance allows you to more comfortably pretend you are all alone, even though you can’t help but be painfully aware that they are right there in front of you.

What are you supposed to do? A technique I find that works okay is simply acknowledging the awkwardness of the moment with the other person and then laughing about it until you each can go your own way. No actual discussion required. This is a lot more effective if you have someone like Em with you, because she finds this sort of thing humorous too and will laugh even if Friend doesn’t.

The real problem is if you are by yourself and don’t know the other person very well, because it makes it way riskier to say something. He’s walking along thinking, “Why is she following me? I hardly even know her. Maybe she is going to her car, but she could be a crazy stalker. Is she dangerous? Oh man, just what I need.” You’re walking along thinking, “Oh great. I bet he thinks I’m following him when all I want to do is get to my frickin car and go home. Should I catch up and say something or just start walking very slowly? If I try to explain, will it just sound like a bunch of excuses to cover up my stalker tendencies?”

Learn from my mistakes and always make sure you clarify who is going where before you leave the door of the restaurant. It’s the only way to go to avoid this interpersonal messiness. I’m getting better at remembering, but I still fall into the trap every once in a while.

In other news, I haven't written about shows lately, because I've been on hiatus. I needed a break and thought the weeks between the New Year and Nada Surf at the end of February seemed like a good length of time. Of course, I gave myself permission to go to one or two if something really good came along, and that's how I ended up at the 69 Love Songs Pre-Valentine's Day Bash last night. For the most part, it was a good show. I loved so many of the songs and now want to get the 69 Love Songs (Magnetic Fields) set. Members of lots of bands I like performed, and it started off really entertaining, but then turned kind of weird and self-indulgent by the end. My feelings about this could be influenced by the fact that I started getting tired while everyone else got really drunk.

After returning home late, I didn't fall asleep until around 3am, and now I'm exhausted and whining to you. Had to get to work at a decent time this morning, and I must head off in a short while to a friend's bday gathering at Brouwer's Cafe. Lovely place and lovely friend, but I'm afraid I'm going to be napping on the table, since sleep wasn't possible at all today. Will have to rely on frites and good drinks to pull me through. February is the month of birthdays!