BOYFRENT

For various (good) reasons, the Boyfriend and I usually end up spending most of our "at home" time together at my place. This tends to work well for both of us. My neighborhood in Seattle is pretty cool, with easy access to yummy restaurants and fun hang-out spots. Many are within walking distance of my apartment. Friends live close by. Overall, the location provides us with lots of options.

And, honestly, I just like being at my house. I'm not there a ton with my often busy schedule, and although improvements are needed (an updated tv, for example), it's a cozy, happy place to be. I'm totally content to shut out the outside world and just enjoy being there. Plus, I like having access to my full wardrobe and products. :-) Schlepping that stuff around is not appealing.

So, there we are, happily spending many days and nights at my pad. It's great! But, things get messy, dishes get dirty, clean-up is required. When my mess-detector reaches high levels, I get stressed. I like the calm of a relatively clean environment. Messy leads to edginess and huffy interactions, which, as you can imagine, doesn't set a great tone for a relationship. Megan Grrrrrrr Mode is not appealing.

I have to say that the Boyfriend is a real pro at dealing with this. For one thing, he's an excellent communicator. This has taken some getting used to on my part. It's a novelty, and I don't always know how to cope. Over the past few years, as long-time readers know, I've dated the exact opposite of good communicators. I'm most familiar with Run-Away-at-the-First-Sign-of-Conflict Guy or Prefer-to-Sweep-All-Problems-and-Emotions-Under-the-Rug Guy or Pretending-to-Listen Guy, who has the charming habit of making all the right noises when you speak, but then inevitably taking a wrong turn with his actions. "Huh?" is the motto of these guys. Not for the Boyfriend. He listens and tries to see things from both of our perspectives. He wants to find mutually agreeable solutions to potential issues. It's a refreshing change. I finally feel like I'm part of an adult relationship, and it's lovely.

Secondly, the Boyfriend cleans up. Hurray! This is key. You can talk and talk and talk, but the truth is in the actions. He understands what needs to be done to keep us both happy at my place. And, while it's greatly appreciated by me, it's felt pretty seamless to get to this point of balance. We're figuring out what works and jokingly call the tasks he does his "boyfrent." I often come home to find the dishes done (no small task since I don't have a dishwasher). Many days he grocery shops and prepares dinner (vegetarian options!), including fun little treats like chocolate, and Crazy Taxi. When preparing to have friends over, he's whipped out the vacuum to push over the floors while I handle other stuff. While I was stressing out about getting my grad application done, he upped his help so I didn't have to worry at all about the little things. It was incredibly...helpful.

Oh yeah, and he's nice to my annoying cat who likes to stand around the bed meowing on weekend mornings. He even calls her "buddy," which is pretty funny for a 7lb Russian Blue.

This boy goes above and beyond with his boyfrent. I still like to tease him about upping the rent, though.