Many of you know that along with taking classes and reading books about autism, I've also gotten into blogs written by people who are on the spectrum. I'm a lurker. Well...and sometimes a commenter. Classes are interesting, and they help in the processing of concepts. Books provide a lot of useful information, especially in understanding the diagnostic criteria and some of the complexities of the disorder, or provide a more authentic perspective if they're written by a person who is autistic, but what I really want to learn is what life is like right now for the adults who have ASD. In my curious, let-me-see-your-truth sort of way that is, frankly, something I seem to crave in most aspects of life, I want to understand the best I can what it's like to be a person who perceives the world differently, or perhaps has strengths or faces challenges I don't due to neurological differences.

For me, the good stuff is all about relationships, friendships, love, sex, connection, and how people interact with each other and the world. I have so many questions. That list could be its own post. Real answers on these topics is hard to find in books and research papers. It wouldn't be appropriate or comfortable for me to bring these subjects up with the people I currently know who have an ASD. So, for now, I turn to the blogs. And, as I lurk, it's becoming clear how highly unique these experiences are for each individual. Not surprising, of course, but if you study something while being detached from the people for too long, it becomes far too easy to generalize. I feel like I'm in that danger zone. A book can tell me about special interests, theory of mind, organization skills, bullying, zapped energy, frustration, loneliness, comorbids, the need for lots of alone time, the inability to read social cues, teaching/intervention strategies, support systems, and on and on. I can spout off a lot of facts, let me tell you (and sometimes I do! My poor friends and family.). But, while interesting to learn, for me there is something sort of empty about swimming in all these facts. A big piece is missing. I'd like to speak with a person rather than look at a bulleted list, please.

It'd be nice if I could walk up to someone, tap them on the shoulder, and say, "Would you mind if I jumped in your head for five minutes, a few hours, or a day? I want to know how the world looks to you, how you feel, what you truly want. I want to see how we are the same and how we are different. I want the honest, uncensored, deeply personal truth of who you are. Sound ok?"

Yeah, yeah. I'm back from fantasyland now.

But wait! Yesterday I found an incredible blog that made me feel like I was doing this for a little bit: The Incipient Turvy. I happened on this blog from another one I like, and I randomly chose to read Part One of the Awkward Love series (at the bottom of the list on the overview page, following the link). I was immediately drawn in. And then I read parts two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine. I couldn't stop. It's my new favorite, and I think it's the best thing I've read in a long, long time. The author is simply an amazing writer who is deeply insightful, funny, and candid in describing his experiences, especially in dating and romance. I love the metaphors, especially the screensaver. I've thought about that a lot. These metaphors really do help you "get it." I liked the sections on social clumping and Red Rover. I think I like that he is roughly my age, but I'm not sure why. The Doctor seems very cool. I loved the part in a later post where the writer talks about, as a kid, prematurely starting to miss a moment while it's still happening, because you know it will soon be gone. Yes! I know exactly what he means, because I've done that all my life, but even more so as a kid too. I could gush on and on here about everything I liked, and sound like a huge dope, because it is every single bit of parts 1-9. So, I'll stop myself now and just encourage you to read all or parts of Awkward Love if you're interested. I so completely loved it.