I'm reaching a point in my little life lately where I'm so busy that I alternate from feeling energized and like I'm kicking butt in getting stuff done to feeling completely overwhelmed, stressed, and resentful of my stress. Work, school, projects, volunteering, trying to have a life...Yes, I have stress about my stress. It's META-STRESS! Ha. Ha. Ha...HA.

Anyway, I wish I was a cool cucumber kind of person who seamlessly manages it all with a smile, perfect hair, and not a worry in the world but, sadly, I am not. I'm like the exact opposite, although I think I may come off as the cool cucumber type, with messy hair, to some on occasion. I hide it well, my friends. The reality is that I'm still suffering from PTS from the stress of work, school, and life in my 20s, so I easily crumble under the pressure. My neck and shoulders grow increasingly tense. I'm prone to crying when tired or yelling out FUCK! in my apartment after a cat litter spill. I become like a sulky, immobile child huddled in the corner of the couch in protest of stress. I'll stay awake at night thinking anxiously of all I have to do when I'd rather be re-reading Bridget Jones's Diary. I spend all weekend working on stuff to discover there is still a pile of stuff waiting. I don't even have time to fantasize about how great Paris will be, let alone look up restaurants or learn French. A date? I don't have time for a date! How dare you ask! Just kidding about that one (the second part, not the first)...mostly. I fill my blog up with complaints. Seriously, people! Something has got to give. I'm practicing meditation more. It helps.

I wish I was good at handling this life business, but I'm not really. And yet, I'm all, sign me up for another class next quarter! Off I go.

In Academy Award news, I watched the last 20 minutes or so last night, and I was happy enough with the results this time. It seemed like cheesy good fun this year. I enjoyed Sean Penn calling the crowd "commie homo loving sons of guns" or something like that. I thought it was really over the top to have former winners in the best actor and best actress category giving little speeches to each nominee. It felt like love-fest in manner of one-sided wedding vows. Only the person pledging undying love and admiration was on stage, while the betrothed stood/sat in the audience grinning like an idiot while the camera zoomed in on her face for a couple of awkward minutes. Then, instead of make-out sessions, which was physically impossible due to distance, it all wraps up with the mouthing of words like:

I love you more.

No, I love YOU more.

No, no, no. You're the best. I love you.

No really, stop. I so love you the mostest.

< /love-fest >

The men were a little more stoic.

I added Vicky Cristina Barcelona to my must-see list, as I keep seeing ads for it, and it looks right up my alley!

I will return when I have something remotely interesting to say.

xoxo, Meganar