You go out for drinks with a girlfriend on a Saturday night, and, while sitting on the deck of a popular bar you're sure will attract all the happening people, you discover you're actually mingling in the spot where the Computer Club is meeting? The geeky guy crouching down to peer under your table is not attempting to see up your skirt; he's looking for an outlet for his machine. Move inside immediately.
You agree to play raquetball with your mom at the Y in K Falls? In spite of your attempts to duck, sprint, and basically flatten yourself against a wall, she still manages to "accidentally" thwack you with the ball several times.
You realize your 28 year old self is not so different from your five year old self? All you and a friend need for hours of entertainment at the lake from your childhood is a 50 cent beach ball. Little kids hop in the water, play for a while, and then leave with their parents. With no parent there to monitor your beach time, the two of you engage in an intense water volleyball competition with no end in sight. Hunger and very pruney hands finally lead you to reluctantly exit the lake...and head for the swings.
You're waiting to cross the street at the local grocery store, and a cute guy in an SUV stops to let you go? You turn to flash him a thank you smile, and he gives you a nice smile back. After reveling in the good moment for about a second, you take a noticeable stumble in the crosswalk as your heel slips off the side of your sandal. Proceed into store and pretend whole incident never happened.
You are totally engrossed in a book with an ending that takes you completely by surprise and moves you to tears? Try My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. It's a little over the top at the end, but it still got me.
You decide on a whim to get a tattoo? It hurts. A lot. Luckily, you like the symbol you chose, even if you learn later on that one closely related meaning for it is Three Weird Sisters (and you have two kinda weird sisters).
You decide on another whim to get your ears pierced many years after your original piercings have closed up? Actually, your sister decides for you as she marches you into Claire's Boutique and announces to the assistant manager that you are there to get your ears pierced. The assistant manager gives you a look and scoffs as she returns to pricing merchandise. Your sister assures her that is actually why the two of you are there, so the women finally takes you seriously and helps you pick out earrings. You sit on a tall stool in the front of the store for the procedure, and little girls hover around to giggle and point at the old lady who is getting her ears done. The special cleaning kit you get is a hot pink bag that screams "I just had my ears pierced at Claire's!" As you leave the store, you shove the huge bottle of antiseptic solution in your purse and chuck the bright bag in the nearest garbage can.
Humiliation complete.
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