So it’s turning out that a lot of places we’re at have very poor or no internet connection, which means I’m writing posts as a I go along to put up as soon as I can. It’s a bit frustrating being so disconnected, but I’m glad that I’m having time to write things to post now. For a few days there, we were sometimes going 15 hours a day, and I was exhausted with about zero time for myself. Whine, whine. But really I'm having a good time in spite of all the going and a few annoyances here and there.

The religion aspect of this trip has been very interesting for me. As you might expect, our group has a combination of beliefs, and we’re visiting a place that is the hub of three big religions. With no separation between church and state here, religion is always a part of daily life. That means people are often more than happy to talk about it, and I love it. I often find discussing religion at home to be very touchy. People either aren’t interested in discussing it (seeing it as too serious or unimportant). or aren’t open to exploring other points of view, or are so disconnected from what they believe and why that a talk hardly gets off the ground.

I didn’t go into this trip with real expectations of what my experience would be like, but I think I leaned more toward feeling a greater spiritual connection with god by being in the holy land. This hasn’t really been the case. Oddly enough, I have moments of greater connection, but they tend to be in random places, like on the bus, rather than at the Sea of Galilee or the Jordan River or even Jerusalem. I feel like over time humanity has sort of sucked the holiness out of these places. Sad but true. And, I have to say that although I respect the culture of the ultra-orthodox here, and feel fine with whatever way they choose to practice their beliefs, I’m NOT fine with the stories I hear about throwing stones at people for being “immodestly dressed” and stuff. What??? Really? Is this what you believe God truly wants? If so, that isn’t a god I’d want to have anything to do with anyway.

This has been an eye opening experience. Only, instead of my eyes going from closed to open, I think they’ve gotten wider as I observe more completely what I've suspected to be true. You see, while I’m a believer in god/higher power/universe, I don’t believe in religion. As it turns out, this isn’t always a very popular belief to have. Often times people don’t get that. They ask me, “What do you mean you have no religion? What were you born into and blahbitty blah?” So I try to explain my thought process on this. I talk about the fact that while I was born a Christian I don't identify with a particular church. I’m a believer and have faith in god, but I can’t in good conscience for myself participate in formal religious system. It feels wrong. I very much believe that religion is the root of a lot of the world’s problems, giving birth to false righteousness, and my time in Israel has totally confirmed that in a much bigger way than I'd anticipated. I’m troubled by all the horrible things that have been done in the name of religion with the underlying motives of power, greed, and control. I think religion breeds hyprocisy (I see that here even), and while we’re all hypocrites to some extent, it seems truly wrong to me to proselytize a doctrine to recruit or maintain followers while in practice covertly living by a whole other set of rules. I don’t think one particular religion is right over another, and I’m tired of the violence and mistreatment that occurs in the name of religion when it goes against the very thing that god represents. I don't see peace in the middle east happening anytime soon, and I think that's true within Israel itself.

The thing is that, for myself, I very much believe that I’m with god every day. I feel a loving presence in my life and believe that we are all born with this. I truly think we are given the inherent knowledge and a direct line to god within ourselves at the time of creation. If we could get over being afraid of taking a deeper look inside, of asking the questions we need to of ourselves, we could easily tap into that knowing without the rules and guidance of a specific doctrine. I realize that belonging to a religion has benefits in providing structure to those who thrive with that and a sense of community. In my eyes, though, religion distracts us from having a real relationship with a higher power by simply telling us what it is we should be doing or thinking. My hope is that one day human consciousness will evolve to a level of understanding that we are given what we need, making religion unnecessary, and perhaps even undesirable. Certainly I think it’s beneficial to ask questions of each other and learn together. I hope humanity will always do that, and I like the community aspect as well. But, I’d love to see a greater openness to learning, changing, and growing spiritually as we journey through our lives, and the absence of fear in where that journey will take us.

Outside of that, I’ve discovered that I have a real problem with religious dress codes, too. I feel rebellious and annoyed. Again I say, Really?? It just seems dumb that what you wear somehow makes you more religious. I remember my cousin telling me once that his work had a dress code, and he was glad, because, in his experience, when people have to dress professionally they also behave more professionally. I was like, Uh, I guess. I don't think that makes a difference to me, so it seems like a silly idea that wouldn't work in practice. I guess I feel the same way about religion. I don’t mind dressing in a way that honors a particular culture, but I think it’s really funny that people believe that wearing specific outfits makes them any more holy or respectful than the rest of us. Again, do people really believe that god gives a crap what we’re wearing? Was Jesus evaluating my outfit when I went into the Church of the Holy Sepulchre? I don't understand the twisted logic that says dressing the part somehow make me a better Christian, Jew, Muslim, atheist, agnostic, etc. I can put on a tennis skirt and grab a racket and still be a terrible player.